Text: 2 Corinthians 3:4-11
A few years ago, I came across a psychological term that was instantly relatable: “imposter syndrome.” Imposter syndrome is a sense of self doubt in which you feel like a fake or a phony, despite your objective abilities or experiences. Perhaps you’re surrounded by your professional colleagues and deep-down feel like every one of them is probably better or more knowledgeable than you, and that if they really knew you, you’d be laughed out of their company. While imposter syndrome isn’t something that is clinically diagnosable, it is something that is very common. Who hasn’t felt nervous around others in the same profession, schoolroom, or life stage when it seems like everyone else in the room knows what they’re doing and has it all figured out, but you don’t? Indeed, imposter syndrome is so common that it’s likely that everyone else in the room is feeling like just as much of a phony as you do!
I’m reminded of a realization I had in my late teens when I had been playing guitar for about five or six years and was often jamming with other budding guitarists who I’d meet in school or youth group. I was at a conference and had met another young man with a guitar. As we started playing together, I was very impressed with his licks and thought to myself, “this guy is so much better than me.” And this is a thought I’d often have when I met with other players. But when we stopped to take a break, my new friend asked me to show him some things I had been doing. I specifically remember him asking for advice on winding his strings neatly, something I thought was instinctive and no big deal, but he found very impressive. I then realized that we both had reached a level in our playing where we were beyond the basics but had begun focusing on different techniques than each other. It wasn’t so much an issue of differing skill level, but rather an issue of specialization. And I began to suspect that every 19-year-old guitarist who’d been playing for a few years thought all the other musicians he jammed with were better than he was! But in reality, we were all at about the same skill level, objectively speaking.
There can also be something of a spiritual “imposter syndrome” as Christians. You come to Church and think everyone knows the Bible better than you, prays better than you, sings better than you, acts better than you, and has read more spiritual books than you. And you start to think that if the other folks in the pews really knew your life, they’d wonder if you were even saved. In today’s Epistle, however, we see that combating Christian imposter syndrome is often a matter of knowing where our sufficiency comes from. 2 Corinthians 3:4 (page 206):
Such trust have we though Christ to God-ward: not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; who hath made us able ministers of the New Testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.
As I mentioned last week, the church in Corinth had a lot of problems. By the time we get to 2 Corinthians, it seems they had gotten a lot better, but there was still a strong anti-Paul faction that resented his previous correction. And St. Paul was in the difficult position of having to defend his ministry. At the end of chapter 2, Paul admits that being sent by God to bring life to those who will be saved and condemnation to those who persist in rebellion against the Gospel is something that no one can truly be worthy to do. Yet, God had indeed sent him. And if God sent him, he didn’t need to commend himself. If the Corinthians wanted letters of recommendation, they themselves were those letters; Paul was the one God used to bring the Gospel to them and start them on the road to Christian discipleship. That calling from God was the source for the trust or confidence St. Paul and his fellow missionaries had toward God through Christ. His sufficiency was from God, not in himself to claim anything as coming from himself.
This idea of “sufficiency” in the Epistle speaks to meeting a standard, being fit, qualified, competent, or worthy. Sometimes the Greek word gets translated into English as “able,” but this sense of ability is never related to possessing the power to accomplish something. Rather, it’s about reaching the standard necessary to do it. If the Bible talks of “things” being sufficient, it usually means that they are “enough.” For example, in Exodus, the donations given by the people for the construction of the Tabernacle were described as “sufficient” for the work. Indeed, the donations were too much, so Moses told the people to stop giving! But when the Bible speaks of people being sufficient, it is speaking to being competent, qualified, or worthy.
So, St. Paul says that his sufficiency is from God. God is the one who has made Paul and his fellow missionaries competent or worthy ministers of the New Covenant. As the old saying goes, God qualifies the called rather than calling the qualified. That doesn’t mean that seminary or other theological education is irrelevant or unnecessary. It doesn’t mean that someone can just decide to become a priest or because they feel called; no, proper training and vetting is certainly appropriate for the good of the Church. But such qualifications aren’t the point of the Gospel.
Now, we see that St. Paul himself was certainly qualified on a human level. He had been trained in the Scriptures and Jewish traditions by the best rabbis of his day. His conversion to Christianity came when he was given a vision of the Risen Lord by Christ himself. Paul was counted as one of the Apostles by the other Apostles. And he had certainly practiced what he preached, even when doing so required him to suffer persecution. In fact, later in 2 Corinthians, St. Paul does indeed list some of his qualifications, seemingly in exasperation with the people of Corinth. But as he does so, several times he breaks into his list with parenthetical remarks that such boasting, even if it was necessary, was speaking “as a fool.” Paul’s qualifications, as great as they are, do not make him a worthy minister; it is the Lord himself who makes Paul worthy.
Realizing that our worth, our sufficiency, is in Christ rather than in ourselves is a significant antidote to imposter syndrome in the Christian life. Our value to the body of Christ is not in our qualifications, but in God’s gifting. Now, it is good to be well trained, and to use our skills and talents to help in the mission of the Church. But that is not where our worth comes from. Our worth comes from Christ.
And that is why St. Paul did not seek to win the approval of the Corinthians by his qualifications. Indeed, seeking the approval of others in a specific ministry or in the Christian life generally, is to miss the point. If it is God who calls you and God who makes you sufficient, why worry about what people may or may not think? And this worry is often at the root of such imposter syndrome: the fear that “they” (whoever “they” are) will find you out. The irony is that everyone else is often having that same worry about you! It’s a vicious circle that leads nowhere. When your eyes are on everyone else and your focus on what they think of you, you will never be able to do what God has called you to do.
St. Paul goes on to speak of his ministry as one of the Spirit rather than of the letter. “For the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.” Those of you who have been in our Romans class know that St. Paul often contrasts the Law with the New Covenant in similar terms. Indeed, his own formal training in Judaism was one of the Law, the letter. But the Law in of itself cannot give life, it can only accuse. In this way it is not dissimilar to seeking approval based on performance. It is ultimately a losing game. The Law is too perfect to be perfectly upheld by even St. Paul, let alone the likes of you and me! And that is why covenant with God is not just about how well one performs before the Law. It must be based on fellowship with God, a fellowship that is only possible through the blood of Christ.
Often a religious sort of imposter syndrome is based on a mistaken notion that the Christian life is primarily about performance. It is based on a mistaken notion that your worth is based on how well you live uprightly, how often you fast, how many Bible verses you have memorized, which Church Fathers you have read, etc. None of those things are bad, but they are not the basis for your worth. And focusing on the performance, the letter, if you will, will only bring death. No, uprightness and righteous living are the fruit of being made worthy by God. They are the fruit of God’s Spirit indwelling you and changing you from the inside out.
As we continue in our Epistle, St. Paul acknowledges that the Law was given in great glory, despite the fact that the Law’s condemnation would bring death. When Moses went up Mount Sinai, he did so with lightning and thunder and other awesome displays of God’s power. And the people were rightly awed to the point of fear. But if the ministry of condemnation was given with such glory, how much more glorious is the ministry of the Spirit? We could think of this in terms of the wonders at the Ascension or Pentecost, or even the Resurrection itself. But another aspect of the glory of the ministration of the Spirit is the sufficiency that comes from God.
To have your worth given from God himself is to know incomparable glory. Indeed, God brings us into his own glory when he makes us worthy, by the blood of Christ, for fellowship with him. Indeed, in another Epistle, after listing some more of his qualifications that look so good to human eyes, St. Paul says, “But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord.”
In the end, knowing Christ is all that matters. He preserves us, he makes us worthy. He knows us so deeply that we couldn’t feel like an imposter in his presence. We are laid bare before his eyes. And yet he loves us anyway. He accepts us anyway. He is our sufficiency because he himself is more than sufficient for all that we need.
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
